Going over year 2008

Another year is ending. Tomorrow is Appan’s birthday; he would have been 68 this year.

This year has been good, without any great problems on the personal and family front.
Ø J has mellowed, he does not scream as much so I am happier. He has become to realize that his sisters’ are normal human beings and not paragons of virtue, goodness and everything good in the world.
Ø Chu had twins and San my cousin had a daughter.
Ø Sob and Rig another two cousins got married.
Ø Our property case got solved and finally the land will come back to us.
Ø No major death took place in the family. So it has been a very good year in every way.

The last few years not having been good, I was worried about this year also but it turned out fine. Hope the next year continues this streak of goodness and life goes on happy and satisfied.
Ø Thom will be six next year and in Grade I.
Ø I hope I get a job that had good pay and great timings.

Not so great events also took place this year.
The Mumbai terrorist attack, the current bombing in Gaza, the mowing down of school children in Kannur district Kerala by a vehicle that lost control, the regular and unwarranted warnings that V.S Achuthanandan keeps getting from his corrupt party members and a blind Politburo.
Then again great miracles and acts of defiance also took place this year.
Obama got elected as president of United States of America and an Iraqi journalist threw a shoe at George Bush, a fitting end to an year, I am just upset that the shoe missed its mark

Messy December

December has been a bad month, it has been so for a long time now, always a time of change, uncertainty, problems created by my part of the family, a truly messy time of year for me.
In 2005, I was terminated from my job on Dec 22. I was very upset and sat and then came the news of J’s transfer to Hong Kong as country head. He did not want to go and I did not know what to do. Internet searches did not throw up a good picture, at least not when compared to Dubai. We were sick with worry It was terrible. Then January came and things just worked out.
In 2006, We moved into our new house, that too soon after the biggest fight we had, a fight that I thought would end my marriage, but again it all just vaporized as the year ended and another began.
In 2007 came J’s transfer to another branch and his fear of taking up the post. He kept talking of going back to India and all arguments just fell on deaf ears. I went into depression and things went downhill for us. Things just kept turning bleaker and bleaker and then he joined the new branch and came back happy and smiling. This was on January 1st 2008.
As this year ends, things have again heated up. J is being moved to another post in the head office and he is not pleased. Things are scary especially with the downturn in economy. Then as this tension is on another one crops up. Ed, Chu’s hubby has got himself entangled in some mess. A driver of the private taxi that they usually use called me up one day and said Ed had borrowed money from him and is now not returning calls, not meeting him, just avoiding him at all times. I called up Chu and told her of this and also that I do not want to be involved in this and do not want J to find out about this. The driver guy has this habit of calling up in the wee hours of the morning and then coming to our building and calling from the reception. Well now everyone from the reception to the security guard knows about it and I have no idea how I am going to keep this from J. I thought it was over, then this guy calls me up again today and all the mess is on again. I was livid, after J left for office I called up Chu and screamed through the phone, called her hubby a bastard, sick good for nothing, told her maybe he is seeing some woman or maybe he has lost his job, called him a mother fucker and then that if this did not get cleared up I was going to call him and tell the same thing. I don’t if it worked, any way she said a solution to this would be reached today in front of a mediator. Hope something works out and J does not have to be told.

Holiday in Goa

Today I watched the movie ‘Outsourcing” and liked it. Looking at India from the perspective of an American, it does a good job. An interesting part of the movie is the relationship between the Indian Future Assistant Manager and the American and she tells him “he is her holiday in Goa”. For her he is her one chance to escape, even if only for a few months, from the detailed plans laid out before her for her future by her family. This is a real scenario in India now, girls having sexual affairs with someone they like and would love to have a life with, then quietly giving it all up to fall in line with their parents wishes, marrying someone from their caste, religion, community and background, knowing fully well they will never again know the fun and excitement of their previous life.
I wonder if the men know of these things and do they still come to the marriage bed thinking their wives’ are virgins. Surely they know. A lot of women in India still know only one man, their husband sexually, but that is changing and what is more, the guilt that used to be associated with premarital sex among women is almost totally gone. Well, men always had some sort of experience with premarital sex and that was accepted but it is still a taboo for women at least officially.

Passing on ....Annie Chechi

Annie-echi’s garden was big and no one was allowed in. She was a big lady and no one would have dared cross her and pluck anything from her garden, i.e. all except me. Each time we had projects in grade requiring us to bring flowers to class, I turned to her. She would let me pluck anything I wanted and invariably I always plucked the long red Cat’s tail flowers that were plenty in her garden. That is my earliest memory of her. This big fair beautiful and sweet woman, who gave us, pickled ambazhanga, whose house was like our own when we went each year during the church feast of St. Sebastian, “The Ambu Perunal” at Pudukad. Everyone was welcome in her house, the table was laden with all kinds of food and I always had the feeling that even if some stranger just walked in and sat down at the table no one would have known. The fireworks at her house were the largest in the angady especially when the procession reached her gate. There was always a huge cage of lovebird in her car porch. She had five sons and she was always willing to exchange one them for one of us.
This year during august when I paid her a visit, she gave me cuttings of Euphorbia Splendens and they are doing great on my balcony. When I saw her she was the same, huge beautiful and as loving and last Saturday on the 13th of Dec, she passed away. She had liver cirrhosis and it had been undiagnosed. She is no more and with her one more of threads that bind us to Pudukad breaks.

Missing Appan

Usually when I buy something new, I try it out on myself then on my sisters’ and my father and mother, like a new cleanser on Appan and a new henna powder on amma. So when I bought my new BaByliss ionic ceramic 2X hair drier and staightner and liked it, my immediate thought was, “ Next vacation I am going to straighten my mother’s and sister’s hair.” I could se it in my mind, all of us sitting in the Kitchen around the table, appan in his chair, and amma at the stove, V sitting next to Chu on whose hair I was working. That is how we do everything. All of us around the table talking, discussing, fighting, solving problems, dreams, playing trying out new things. But that was all so long ago. As each of us got married and had families, our round table conferences slowly went away and now with appan no more among us and all of us never able to be present at the same time, all that has ended. Oh God! How I miss those days. But those were beautiful days and in my mind’s eye when I plan my next new topic to discuss, it is still the five of us, appan included. That image never changes. Sometimes I think, Appan’s presence is like that of God carved into those wall hangings one sees in houses.” GOD is the head of this family, the unseen listener at each conversation and the uninvited guest at all dinners.” Appan is a lot like that, after his passing, he seems to be present at all conversations and dinners.

Flowering season

The asparagus beans have a lot of beans on them now. Since they are self pollinating, there is little work once the flowers start opening. I planted very few this year, as this was a trial run so this year’s pods will all be dried for seeds for next year’s crop.
I think this year also I planted tomatoes wrong. I must have planted them late, as it is already tomato season here and my plants are still small seedlings, not full grown. I think they should have been planted at least in the first week of august.
The globe amaranths are all flowering. They are summer plants in Kerala, sturdy and drought resistant in the heat, but here they are winter plants. Maybe it is because the intensity of light they receive in the summer here is very very high compared to tree filled shady Kerala. And the winter sun, weak light and shorter days seem to have triggered flowering. Well it just taught me to let the plants to be in summer. Give enough water and keep them from dying and they will do well in winter.

School tragedy

Last week terrible things happened, as did many wonderful things.

Nine school children aged six and seven were mowed down by a four-wheeler whose driver had dozed off behind the wheels in Kannur. One boy and eight girls were with another group of children returning home after class when this tragedy happened. As the news started breaking in the afternoon entire Kerala went into shock, TV channels interrupted programs and took viewers live to Kannur.

Then after eleven years our property case has been settled. Soon the deed papers will be returned and all our troubles are over.

I bought a BaByliss hair dryer cum straightner, Beliss ionic ceramic 2000W. I was really a little worried about whether it would give the required result. Well It is great and does a good job. My hair, wavy and curly at the end now looks poker straight and all in just 30 minutes. The hair drier is also very powerful. So I am pleased. May be if I had taken a lottery this week…..

Thankamma Paulose, our biology teacher

തങ്കമ്മ പൗലോസ്‌

െപരുമ്പാവൂര് ഗവ. േഗള്സ് െെഹയ്സകൂള്കന്ഡറി സ്കൂള് റിട്ട. അധ്യാപിക വട്ടയ്ക്കാട്ടുപടി കിടങ്ങേടത്ത്‌ തേമ്പ്രാ (തോട്ടുങ്കല്‍) തങ്കമ്മ പൗലോസ്‌ (84) അന്തരിച്ചു. അവിവാഹിതയാണ്‌. ശവസംസ്‌കാരം വ്യാഴാഴ്‌ച രാവിലെ 10ന്‌ പെരുമ്പാവൂര്‍ ബഥേല്‍ സുലോക്കൊ യാക്കോബായ സുറിയാനി കത്തീഡ്രല്‍ സെമിത്തേരിയില്‍.

The above obituary of our biology teacher is from Mathrubhumi online. I am really not sure if the spelings are right, as I cannot read malayalam well. Any way what it says is Ms.Thankamma Paulose retired bilogy teacher from Govt girls high school Perumbavoor and St.Peter's EMHS, Kadayiruppu Kolenchery passed away last night at her brother’s residence at Vattakkattupady. She belonged to the Thombra family Thottumgal branch. The funeral rites will be held on Friday at 10 AM at the home and then body taken to the Jacobite cathedral church at Perumbavoor.

Thankamma teacher was a good teacher, very strict and scary. She was also our boarding warden. I have many times got into her bad books, as breaking rules came naturally to me. As we were related on my mothers side, she was stricter with us than the others. May God bless her.

Death and the farce

Major Sandeep Unnikrishnan died in the line of duty. He died fighting for his country. He died fighting against terrorists’ who had attacked Mumbai. He died trying to save a colleague. He died a hero.
Then his death was turned into a circus, a farce and a joke that divided people along party lines. His supreme sacrifice was forgotten, all every one remembers now is his screaming father screaming at the Chief Minister of Kerala, telling him to “Get out, Get out of my house.” The father preferred to score points before he had even laid his son to rest. He looked for news op when he should have been grieving. Or maybe he had listened to too much of divisive talk from nosy silly people and media who were looking to score points from this unfortunate death.
The Chief Minister V.S Achuthananthan was wrong to make the “Dog” comment he made but he was pushed to do so by relentless bullying by the media, especially biased congress mouthpieces by Manorama. He was also shaken by the harsh and rude behavior of Mr. Unnikrishnan. Would Mr. Unnikrishnan have reacted the same way if Sonia Gandhi had come to visit him a day after the funeral? Of course she has not visited yet. So it was, probably, not the timing of the visit that was the problem, it was the media opinions that he had been reading that led to the mess.
Major Sandeep Unnikrishnan never thought of the honor he would get, never about the visits he would be paid by dignitaries at his funeral. He just did what he thought was his duty and the rest of was turned his death into a spectacle.

Yesterday I watched the movie The Queen. The reviews that I remember of the movie talked about Elizabeth I coming across as a great monarch and PM Blair as a wimp. I thought the opposite was true. Blair actually seemed to been able to drum some sense into cold and frivolous lives led by the royals. Through out the movie the queen talks about her duty to her country and all the duty we see her doing is her and her silly pompous consort hunting down stags in Scotland. “Do you think I will leave my grandsons who have just lost their mother, and come down to London, because….?” was a question she asked, but throughout the movie we don’t get to see her comforting or even talking to the two boys at all. All we see is her hunting and more hunting and more hunting. Well they really work hard at that. Cherie Blair came out as a strong willed woman and republican at that.

Flowers at last

I was thinking of pulling up my Butterfly pea (Clitoria ternatea) plant, when it started flowering. Now there is a profusion of beautiful blue flowers regular ly. In Malayalam it is called Shankupushpam, I think because it shaped like a shankh (Counch). There are pretty pictures of the flower on www.treknature.com


The Asparagus beans, we know as achinga payaru also is flowering. The scientific name is Vigna unguiculata sesquipedalis. So all these seem to be winter plants as far as Dubai is considered. Pictures can be seen at www.henriettesherbal.com
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yardlong_bean
So this year if the pollination takes place properly, I will be able to have my own garden fresh achinga payaru mazhukupuratti.