Teachers, some nasty, some great

Well, the first assessment is over and reports are good as far as I am concerned. J is not all that happy. He was, I suppose expecting a report saying that he is the father of a super child. My own expectations are much lower. But he still came way over my vision. The teacher said he was shy and did not interact with her at all.

That is not surprising considering the fact that I was shy too, scared to look at the teacher and scared of being asked questions. Yet, I was smarter than most in my class. My teachers had problem believing that I was writing my home assignment essay’s without parental help. They always assumed that no child my age could write so well. I suppose if I had not been that shy, they might have noticed me and seen how good I was, but I never gave them a chance. I was so shy that I was almost like wallpaper blending into the background and disappearing.

I particularly remember a Mrs. Ramachandran, our English teacher; she used to take special pleasure in telling the class that I was cheating as obviously my father was doing all my homework. It made me retreat more and more into my shell, but in many ways it pleased me too because, I used to wonder, “Wow!! Am I that good?”

Thom is much the same, only he has me on his side and I think I might be able to prod him to do well in class rather than just when doing home assignments.

I wonder where Mrs. Ramachandran is? Is she dead, alive or in hell? She is one of the few teachers’ I remember from the Indian community school in Libya around the years 1981 to 1984.
Then there was Mrs. Aggarwal, the Hindi teacher; she tried so hard with me. I don’t know what she saw in me but she kept trying to draw me out. But I was too stubborn and the poor dear never succeeded. My warmest salutes to her for her belief in me. Tara Bhaskar was another wonder teacher, again an English teacher. Then of course there was the wonderful Mrs. Iyengar, the math teacher, who made all her students brilliant performers. She brought out the best in us. As did Mrs. Ramanujam. Then there was the unforgettable Mr. Cherian, who a blot on all math teachers, he was not a teacher rather a lazy moron, who never taught anything and all his students ended up failing. He had six or seven daughters, all created in the hope that the next would be a boy. Well he never had a boy.

Nosebleed

Yesterday I received a call from Thom’s school to tell me that he had to be send to the clinic as he had a nose bleed. He was fine and that he is being send home on the school bus.
He has been complaining of headaches for sometime now and I wonder if it is connected but most of my research on the net tells me that it is common in children and usually due to the hot weather. And God it is hot!!. We were thinking of sending him for the summer camp but now I am having doubts as this summer is turning out to hotter than usual and why strain him unnecessarily.
We had a big fight today before going to school. I wish instead of losing my cool when he acts cranky, I could be more calm. Most of the time I get agitated when he is cranky and that freaks him out and we end up having a messy crying time for him and angry upset time for me.

Happy ever after

Yesterday night, I went to sleep thinking about Appan. I told him to give me a sign that he was well and happy wherever he was.

In the morning I was worried about my uncontrollable anger each time, Thom and I sat down to do his homework. I ended up shouting and angry and he, frightened beyond words at this mad screaming apparition his mother routinely turned into every evening during homework time. So I decided to speak to another parent whose child is also in KG1 and who stayed in the next building. We got talking and she said she did not put any force on her daughter to do the homework and that I really need not worry.

Anyway, one thing led to another and soon we were discussing our families and we realized that we were second cousins. She is the daughter of my father’s first cousin. Her maternal grandmother and my paternal grandmother are sisters. It was more a shock than surprise as we have staying so close and had no idea at all. We see each other everyday and still this never came up.

Later as I thought about it I remembered my request to appan yesterday night. Was this a sign from him? Does it mean he is fine and happy in the after life.

Sharing

My cousin, his wife and three-year-old daughter are over for a visit. They will stay for a week. Thom has been excited about having another child to play with but after playing for sometime he realized that having another child in the house mean a lot of unnecessary competition. It meant having to share things, having attention taken away from him. It really is no fun. So now the excitement has changed to hate and dislike.

Till yesterday the query was, “When are they coming? Why are they not coming?” And now that has changed to, “Amma, When will they leave? I hate her.”

I expected to have a nice time too, with Thom having someone else to play with but instead I have on my hands a very cranky child, who is upset about every toy his cousin picks up.

A couple of years ago when Thom was not yet two, I remember staying at J’s cousin’s house. They had a four year old and he used to act just like Thom does now and I used to think, “what bad parenting!”.

Thom was always crying because that child would not let him play with any of his toys. And I was proud of my son, as he was the sharing type; he had no problems with anyone playing with his toys.

But I suppose it just meant that he wasn’t old enough to think of things as theirs, and mine but now that, he has learnt to do that, things have changed and people probably think of me as a bad parent.